Nearing the end.

It has been hard to work all day take care of DH at night, but with the help of God's love it has been a journey I am glad I have had the honor of taking with him.  I do not regret fulfilling my husband's last wish to stay home to die.  I was able to work through last week and on Sat the hospice nurse and I decided it was not safe for him to be home alone any longer.  We brought in a hospital bed to make it easier to take care of him and so he could be out with us, not stuck in a bedroom.  He is in the living room where he can see outside, watch the birds at the feeders, traffic going by the house.  It is like he is sitting on his throne directing his subjects.  He is a very independent man and still does as much as he can himself.

Today his hospice nurse told me we have at most another week together which is hard to take.  As I am his only full time caregiver I am coming to understand that God is holding me up and giving me the strength to get through this process.   Our children are all spending time with him, but until this weekend they were in denial.  Les has lost so much ground in the past week that it is definitely eye opening for them and the realization that Dad is actually going to leave us has hit them hard.

Only God knows when the end will come and even though I don't want him to leave me I know that he will be  fishing or hunting again, able to breath and walk normally again.  I am at peace knowing he will be as well.