My journey to find me again has begun.

The past 6 weeks have been horrible.  I lost my best friend as well as my husband and seem to have no purpose anymore.  If not for Duncan I probably would not be getting out of  bed.  It took me two weeks to have human contact with anyone other than my children and another to get me out of the house.  I wandered around in a daze not knowing what to do with myself or being able to concentrate on anything for any length of time.  Time just kind of stood still even though each day ended and another began,

A beautiful, sunny Sunday spent with my son proved that there is still something to smile about. 

I called Chris that Sunday and asked if he wanted to go for a ride.  My decision to head for the coast of Maine only happened when I reached a point where I had to choose the mountain or the seashore.  Portland Headlight is one of my most favorite spots on this earth.  I didn't find joy there but some form of peace to start the return journey to living life again.



 I have always been a strong person, but literally watching the man I love die by inches knocked the wind out of me.  I have never been this lost in my life.

On the advice of my family, many friends, my grief counselor and therapist I have started a journey to find myself again.  This is beginning with a trip to forge new memories, see new places, and try to enjoy being alive.  This with the knowledge that I can always turn around and go home if I can't handle it.

I set out this morning heading for PA to spend a few days visiting with my brother and also to meet a new friend and her husband whom I have met online through a women's RV forum.  I have been driving and pulling our camper for the last 3-4 years so I have no fears about that.  I was a bit frightened about traveling alone with just Duncan, but using caution and my own intuition I think I can deal with that as I go along.

I left home at about 7:30ish took my time and stopped often to get out, stretch and walk around letting Duncan have some exercise as well as do his duty.  The weather had called for showers throughout the day. but other than a few sprinkles and one brief shower (1/2 mile or so) we had good driving weather.  I kept hearing Les, in my head, giving me directions and chose not to listen today.  Today I crossed 4 state lines and feel comfortable with that as a first day.  It sounds like a lot but in the northeast it is so easy to visit many states in a day.  We arrived at our destination about 2:30 which could have been cut down by and hour or so, but it worked for me.  I am used to pulling 8-9 hours of straight driving, but didn't want to do that this time.  Each leg of this journey will have no more that 5-6 hours.  I have been told to stop and smell the flowers so am going to try and see how it feels.

I certainly need practice taking pictures while driving.  Not sure how others have accomplished it, but I have more of my steering wheel than I actually took out the window.

Tomorrow I will try to get a picture of the truck and camper so you can see what I am traveling in.  Tonight I am connected to water and electric but did not unhook from the truck.  I am in a pull through site just as a layover so didn't bother doing to much of a set up.  Tomorrow is another story I am staying put for 6 days so will set up camp for the time I am there. 

As you can see Duncan is a quiet copilot, but then again he does like to look out the window.

I plan to try and write each day to hopefully figure out what I am feeling and where I go from here on life's journey.  So come back to visit.


I found this quote and it is so appropriate that I plan to us it as my go to when I need a pick me up.

Life can change in a moment, so we must appreciate every single day we are given.
K Carlson